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You know you own an Evo when...
I had this saved.. always enjoyed reading it
1. You actually spend 20 minutes reading this.
2. STI owners flip you the bird every chance they get.
3. "What the hell is the big wing for?"
4. Everyone tries to race you...
5. Kids on a school bus plaster themselves to the back window when you are behind them.
6. Need new clutch and tires before the car is broken in.
7. People say, “What kind of car do you own again?” ...... "So that is like that lancer?”
8. When you look forward to blizzards.
9. When after a high boost pull on the highway, the only quotes from the passenger seat are......
"Good Christ"
"Holy ****"
"MOMMY!!!!!"
10. “So does that hood come like that?”
11. “Where did you buy those Brembos?”
12. “Did the seats come with the car?”
13. When motorcycles rev at you and then you beat them to 120MPH.
14. When the guy at the gas station knows you better than everyone.
15. When it takes you 6 points to make a 3-point turn.
16. When a guy pulls out his camera phone to take a pic of your car while driving.
17. When you have to speed up to see if there is a cop behind you.
18. When you can pass everything on the road but a gas station.
19. When you go to the racetrack, run 11's and they don't let u run anymore cuz u don't have a role cage in your Evo.
20. When you’ve given up explaining your car to other people and just refer to it as "the white thing with the massive wing that goes like hell"
21. When you ask to be seated by the window in the restaurant so you can look at your car while you're eating.
22. When you spend all day at work surfing for parts and checking EvoM and then minimizing everything at ever little creak you hear.
23. When you’re asked what kind of Subaru you drive.
24. When a group off people stop walking and just stare at your car cuz of your blow off valve.
25. When you get out of your car at a store, work, etc. People are like "Sir you left your car running"
26. The smile's stuck to your face for an hour every time you get out of it.
27. When people ask you why your radiator is so big.
28. When u get pulled over by Canadian police, so they can just check out your car. (cuz they don’t have evos in Canada, got it?)
29. When you are denied warranty work.
30. When you start to lust for a carbon fiber toilet seat.
31. When you learn to zone out your girlfriend saying "Slow down!" or "Aaaahhhh!"
32. You get used to blank stares from mustangs at the next light when they're idea of a fast car has been shattered.
33. When there’s a permanent grip mark on the passengers "oh sh*t" handle.
34. When someone says, "Hey! It’s the car from the Fast and Furious movies!"
35. When you’re at a car show and a viper guy walks up and says, "Is that cute little hair dryer travel size?"
36. When you get tired of telling people at stoplights about what the evo has in it.
37. When other drivers of your same car actually give a damn about you and also give you a thumb up for having the same car.
38. When you look at a corvette and go: "Those would be nice if they were fast"
39. When you can use the rear wing to block out headlights behind you at night.
40. When 93 octane is not gas, it’s a way of life.
41. When you can’t take 2 steps from the car after parking it without someone asking you some kinda question.
42. When mobile one is just regular oil.
43. When you park as far away as possible from other cars and still someone has to park next to you.
44. When you open your garage and you see an EVO.
45. When service managers give you lectures about 'this car is not for drag racing' when it's brand new.
46. Trying to explain to all the people at work that the replacement for displacement is an EVO.
47. When your friends ask you if you plug it in at night.
48. You feel insulted when someone says "nice lancer"
49. When your back and butt are sore from driving over an hour or two.
50. When people say, "Hey, nice body kit!"
51. When your insurance payments are higher then your car payments.
52. As soon as you open IE or Firefox, evom is the first page that pops up.
53. When its 0 degrees outside and you're washing the car.
54. When you get out of your car and you smell burnt rubber.
55. When high-end cars that ignore everybody else want a piece of the Evo.
56. When you think everyone is always looking at you.
57. When your car is so heavily modified that your scared to drive it because the cops want to look under your hood.
58. When you turn off the radio (or don't turn it on at all) because the sound of the Evo is music to the ears.
59. When the mustang driver cries when handing you $500 after an asswhooping.
60. When guys on Ninja's give you a thumbs-up at the end of a spirited freeway run.
61. When your best friend opens the passenger door to re-experience his lunch.
62. When cops follow you around town waiting for you to do something wrong!
63. When your back kills from all the time spent checking the paint on the hood.
64. When you know every octane rating at every station within 10miles of home and who has the highest for the cheapest.
65. When your vacuum hose on the throttle body pops off on the freeway, you pull over to fix it and another evo pulls off to help and talk for an hour.
66. Cops know you by your first name. And your drivers license number.
67. When people ask, "How much you get it for? And “How much are your payments?" trying to figure out if they can afford to get one.
68. When you are at a stoplight and the people next to you ask you to roll down the window to ask what those big red things on the wheels are.
69. When people ask: "The car comes like that?"
70. When kids point and stare at your car.
71. When you move out of the way to let ricer cars go by, but they don’t dare come near you. Or when cars move out of the way when they see you behind them.
72. When your girlfriend/​fianc&​#​233;​/​wife can spot other Evo's faster than you can.
73. When a 6-year-old says, "that thing looks like a race car!"
74. When stopped at a stoplight, the person next to you just stares at your wheels/​calipers until the light turns green.
75. When you spend more on wheel cleaner each month than you do food.
76. When ricers stop racing you and other older guys in vettes and porches want to race you now.
77. People ask you why your car sneezes when shifting.
78. You get startled when you look into your rear view mirror because you there is a semi about to slam into you, then realize that it's just your wing.
79. You wave goodbye to the car that just tried to race you by flicking the rear wiper.
80. When the guy flicks you off cuz his gf *winks* and stares at you
81. When change that is in your ashtray ends up on the floor when you hammer it.
82. When you keep up with M3s and NSXs at the track ... on your winter tires.
83. When you generate a huge cloud of steam going through a carwash.
84. When you drive for hours looking for the longest, smoothest, twistiest, hilliest road you can and make sure to never forget how you got there.
85. When your friends start calling asking if you want to go cruising but then show up and say they don't have any gas and then you know they just wanted you to take them for a ride.
86. When you fuel up more than 3 times in 7 day period.
87. When you think 19 psi is too low.
88. When you can't drive a non-boosted car anymore.
89. When you think being a drug addict maybe cheaper.
90. When you start to miss doing burnouts.
91. When you worry more about your t-case and transmission blowing more than your engine blowing.
92. When your next-door neighbor complains that her house is shaking when you warm up your car.
93. When your stock exhaust trips off a car alarm when you going down the block.
94. When your girlfriend asks you "What do you want for your birthday?" and you smile and say nothing. And then she stops and looks at you and says "I’m not buying you car parts for your birthday."
95. When you and your significant other are deciding on colors for your new house and your dead set on graphite gray.
96. When you put your car as your main beneficiary on your will.
97. When you finish cleaning the rims and you go for a joy ride, when you come back they all covered in brake dust again.
98. When you waive bye-bye to mustangs!​!​!​!​!​!​!​
99. When you drive your EVO for stress relief.
100. When you grin every time you do a hard turn and want more.
101. When you attract cops as if you were a nude super model in heat that loves men in uniform.
102. When sex is often times boring when compared to driving your car.
103. When STi’s appear smaller and smaller in both your rear/side view mirrors.
104. When u beat a mildly modded Corvette/​stockish Vipers etc with bolt-ons thru 4th gear, but he passes u like u hit the brakes and unloaded a parachute when u shift into fifth.
105. When driving spiritedly it makes a Roller Coaster seem Civil.
106. When you own more product to clean your Evo then you do clean yourself for a night out on the town.
107. When you used to get excited seeing vettes and mustangs but now you just look at them as one more notch on your belt for cars that you could beat.
108. When you drive by a Honda kid and you get the blankest, jaw dropping stare like they just saw a ghost.
109. When you think you’re a professional race/rally driver.
110. People jump out of their skin when you start up your car.
111. When women say, "That woosh sound your car makes is sexy."
112. You take the long way home because there are more stoplights.
113. When beating Corvettes isn't good enough.
114. When breathing on your motor voids the warranty.
115. When some says 30K for a Lancer?!?
116. When random people feel that they have to peel out when they are around you.
117. When you’ll actually wash your car once a week (and you are a lazy pos like myself).
118. When it takes up 90% of the thoughts running in your head since you bought the car.
119. When you never used to pay attention to the WRC but now you're pissed that Speed doesn't carry WRC coverage anymore.
120. When you beat a STI by a few cars and he says, "I wasn't flooring it".
121. When you have someone riding with you and you punch it and he or she stops in mid sentence to look for something to grab a hold of.
122. When you explain things about the evo to the mechanic at Mitsubishi dealership.
123. Today I was walking down the street and saw a gigantic vent (like 5 feet wide) that construction workers were about to put on a new building.... I thought to myself "That would make one hell of an intercooler".
124. When someone asks to have lunch on your picnic table.
125. When your boss asks, why you are shaking you head up and down? And you answer, I was agreeing with all the statements in this list.
- when you let a buddy who owns an STi drive your car and he's like "omigod this thing is fast"
- when you can light up your winter tires in 3rd gear (yeah, it's AWD )
- when you have to hold your steering wheel with an iron grip at WOT, thinking to yourself "I thought this was AWD"?
- when your idea of regular maintenance goes from changing the oil to also include: tranny fluid changes, brake pad/rotor inspection/​change,​ bleeding the brakes, inspecting all IC piping.
- when you seriously consider changing to 100 Octane full-time, or ordering 55 gal barrels of toluene (feds be damned)
- when the lady at the korean market says "your car look like jet.'
- when somebody tells you that their car is boosting to 14 psi, and your first thought is "weaksauce!"
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